Happy New Year?

Sooo… Happy New Year!

I’m a bit late with that one, aren’t I? Oh, well. It’s not any less sincere! I wanted to do the End of Year Survey on the 31st of December but didn’t get round to it, and then it kind of went downhill from there.

BUT! My internship (you know, the one I’ve been blaming my lack of blogposts on since September) ended yesterday which means I have a lot of time all of a sudden. I do need to write a report and fix all kinds of boring things related to graduating (yay!) and adulting (yegh), but all in all it seems like I’m going from being very busy all the time to doing very little indeed. Seems like the perfect opportunity for lots of blogging!

It is a little overwhelming to be back, to be honest. I haven’t written anything in over a month and haven’t read any blogs lately either. But I’m looking forward to it a lot! Same goes for reading. I’ve hardly read anything over the past couple months and I’ve been reading My True Love Gave To Me since Christmas. It’s nice to still feel a little festive in the new year, but to still be reading Christmas stories in February is pushing it a little, I think. So finishing that one’s on my To Do-list for this week.

As I’m writing this post I keep getting ideas for all the posts I want to write after this one, but it feels wrong to just get back into the swing of things without acknowledging the fact that I’ve been gone for a long time or talking about what I’ve been up to, so this is just a very short post of me doing exactly that.

Life’s been good the past couple of months. Busy, but fun! My internship went really well and I also passed the last university course I was taking at the same time, so I’m well on my way to getting my MA degree at the end of this month. My personal life’s been pretty darn wonderful as well, so all’s good in the life of me. Now all that’s left to do is to get back to those hobbies of mine. You know, the books and the baking and the blogging…

Here’s to the New Year!

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A Year of Diary Writing

When I was little there was this period when I used to write in my diary every single day. Just a couple of sentences usually, sometimes only one. “Today we did arts and crafts and we made seals out of paper” comes to mind as an example. Just one little line, but apparently it was the highlight of my day. I filled up an entire notebook, which I’d gotten as a gift from my aunt, with entries like that.

I never was that consistent again when it came to writing in my diary. I used to get all motivated and buy myself a pretty new notebook, usually after watching Bridget Jones’ Diary. But after a few days I got tired of writing daily, so it became once a week, then once a month, once every couple of months… And then when that familiar surge of motivation reared its head again, I wanted to buy a new notebook to start over. You know, fresh start and all that. As a result, I have tons of only halfway filled notebooks at my parents’ house.

It always made me feel a little guilty, whenever I abandoned another diary, because it is so much fun to read through old diaries, see what I was up to back then, remember how I felt.

Then, back when I wasn’t doing all too well in 2013, I started to write more frequently and realised it was quite comforting to write about everything that bothered me. So I made a plan. In 2014, I was going to write in my diary every single day. This time, I was actually going to do it because this time, it was different (which was what I told myself everytime, but let’s forget about that for a second).

And guess what? I did it!

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Expectations vs Reality

I’m a nervous person. Always have been, and probably always will. If I have to do something I have never done before — something new and unknown — I’ll get myself all worked up about it. I think of all the things that could go wrong and lose the ability to look beyond that worst case scenario, or properly focus on anything else.

A perfect example of this is the tiny surgery I had to undergo last week: one of my wisdom teeth had to be taken out. Now, to put my nerves about this into perspective: my dentist told me I had to call the hospital about this in January, but by the time I got up the nerve to do so at least 4 months had already passed.

Also important to note is the fact that taking out a wisdom tooth is not a big deal over here. Apparently in other countries (‘Murica, I’m looking at you) they sometimes use a general anesthetic (I’ve seen the YouTube videos), but over here you just get a local anesthetic and that’s it. That’s also the only part of the procedure that hurts, and that wasn’t even the part I was dreading. I don’t even know what part I was dreading. Probably just the general idea of people cutting inside my mouth.

nervousnessI know my fear and anxiety aren’t necessary at all, and are sometimes quite unfounded, but we all know that doesn’t change anything. Things can go right a million times, but I will still always be nervous, although I have to say I’m getting better at it. It’s just a part of who I am. I’m just trying to not let it get in the way of things, like trying new, exciting stuff.

Plus, if you always think about all the bad things that could happen, it can only turn out better than expected! That’s what happened with the wisdom tooth. I was so nervous during the days leading up to it, and once I was in that chair it was done withing two minutes (not even exaggerating) and I hadn’t felt a thing.

In the spirit of full disclosure I feel I have to tell you that the pain after the surgery is a bit worse than I expected…

Oh, well. At least the nerves are gone.